Cats, whether you love them or hate them, are interesting creatures. In fact, they’re just absolute weirdos. Even if you don’t consider yourself a cat person, think about how badass you would be if you had the mentality of a cat. Here are the 12 most common things that cats say (telepathically), that we should all tell people who are rude to us or our friends:
1 – “Fill my food bowls.”
Now. No questions asked, just do it. Be assertive. Or perhaps most cats are more aggressive than assertive…
2 – “Don’t touch me unless I ask you to.”
Seriously, hands should be kept to yourself at all times unless otherwise granted permission from the cat him/herself. Same with people with no boundaries…let them know to back off.
3 – “I couldn’t care less.”
Always be as honest as a cat. When another person starts an argument or is gossiping, let this person know very quickly that that isn’t your style.
4 – “Quit interrupting my naps.”
Naps are refreshing and relaxing. If someone is constantly waking you from peaceful nap time, put him/her in her place.
5 – “Clean out my toilet.”
We serve cats night and day, aside from feeding and watering them, by removing dirty litter and replacing it with a fresh, clean supply. So this is the statement to make to those who believe they are above everyone else in the human race – the snobs and snooty people who treat everyone as servants.
6 – “Stop moving when I’m trying to lay on you.”
Humans only exist in a cat’s world for the cat’s own pleasure and well-being. When faced with poor customer service, when you are being a completely compliant customer, say this cat phrase.
(Well, maybe not. There are many harassment laws and sensitive minds in today’s work force. Use at your own discretion.)
7 – “Do not touch me until you’ve washed your hands.”
Straight up. No questions asked.
8 – “Give me a treat or I’ll claw your skin off.”
Give me what I want or there will be punishment. Humans are just slaves to the feline species. Perhaps this level of ruthlessness isn’t necessary, but when you need something, don’t let others stand in your way.
9 – “It’s time to get out of bed. I don’t care if it’s the weekend, I need to be fed.”
My needs > Your needs. By far. That’s the cat motto. Sometimes it’s okay to be a bit selfish and put your needs first. You are important and you deserve to be content and at peace.
10 – “Why are you talking to me as if I can actually respond?”
Cats will just look at you as if you came from the moon when you speak to them. They know you are wasting your breath and wasting their time. This is the method to use when someone repeatedly brings up a subject that you have openly expressed your discomfort for multiple times.
11 – “I watch you while you sleep.”
Whisper this to anyone, right in his ear, and you are sure to never see that person again. It’s weird, but it’s a way to get that person to leave without being rude or obnoxious.
12 – “Mind your business.”
Cats don’t like it when you watch them during their morning baths. People don’t like it when you watch them in general. If someone has a staring problem, maybe it’s time to have some words with the creeper.
Thank you for reading this post about cat quotes and how we can (and should) apply them to problem people. Also, thank you to my beautiful boys, Collin and Anakin, who were the models for this post. Have a great day! Be assertive, be like a cat.
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