I’m older now, older than you were when we knew each other back then. It’s odd to think about it. So much has changed in both of our lives – for better, for worse, for necessity, or for no reason at all. We’ve lost, we’ve grown, we’ve become new people.
“Well, I guess this is growing up.” (Dammit by Blink 182)
Realizing that you’re only human, like me, that you really didn’t have all the answers back then and still don’t now, that your life is a huge mess like mine – that’s part of becoming an adult. You were always a screw up, too, it just took me years of war and growth to understand.
Those idols we had as teenagers and damaged kids turned out to be more screwed up in the head than we were. Isn’t that insane? It’s the truth, though. It’s life. What used to look like a golden statue of perfection is revealed to be a gilded scarecrow of insecurity. Aren’t we all just gilded piles of mistakes wrapped in scarred up skin? Understanding that truth is what it means to “grow up.”
Is it sad that no one is perfect? No, it’s not sad. It’s actually a relief. Because if no one in the world is perfect, then we can STOP trying to live up to ridiculous expectations. We can stop being so upset with ourselves for being “less than,” and allow our hearts to heal and be who we want versus who we think we should be. At one time I felt disdain for you when your imperfections were brought to light. I was young. Just a kid. I didn’t know that you were a human, too, free to be a little messed up inside. Forgive me. I release all my former anger towards you.