This Will Make You See the Good in Difficult People

Everyday, all around the world difficult people find their way into conversations, debates, and events. When out and about, it’s highly likely you’ll encounter one of these irritating, demanding humans. It’s not pleasant.

But here’s the thing – every single one of us has been guilty of this difficult behavior at some point in our lives. Does that behavior make us terrible people? No. Of course not.

Deep down, we all have goodness within our souls. Even the most grumpy, rude person has some good inside. Be patient, and take the time to try this stuff out – and you just might view the difficult person in a new, positive light.

1 – Consider the possibility that he/she could just be having a rough day.

Think back to your worst day ever – maybe it involved car problems, an intense breakup, or a series of small misfortunes that added up throughout the day and lead to insanity. Whatever happened on your worst day – I’m betting you were not the most pleasant person to deal with in those unfortunate 24 hours.

How would you feel if the version of yourself on your worst day ever was the lasting image other people had of you? No go backs, no quick changing of opinions – just stressed out, difficult you as the only you people around you remember.

It’s not fair, is it? If we don’t want to be judged on our worst days, we shouldn’t judge others on their worst days, either. Give difficult people the benefit of the doubt. Life can be challenging, so maybe the difficult behavior is rooted in a difficult situation.

Next time someone gives you trouble, jump to the conclusion that he/she is just having a rough day.

2 – Picture all the things he/she could be facing – sickness, financial issues, relationship problems, etc.

This ties in with the first point and takes it to the next level of consideration. Sometimes it helps to make up a bizarre story to explain the irritating behavior of others. We never know what someone is going through, and in most cases at work or out in public, we’re not going to find out. And that’s totally okay. But it’s important not to just assume that the person has a terrible personality.

Think about what could have happened earlier in that person’s day – he could have wrecked his car and had to walk to a gas station three miles away, along the way losing his wallet and getting bitten by a rattlesnake.

We may never know the issues that others face, but if we consider that they may be having hard times in their personal lives, we can skip the unfair assumptions. Negative behavior usually is the result of unfortunate experiences. Take this into account when judging human behavior.

3 – Imagine him/her as a little toddler.

At some point in life, we were all innocent, little kids. Even the most obnoxious human was once an adorable child. Picture the difficult person in front of you as toddler, just learning to dance – smiling, laughing…innocent. Somewhere inside of each of us, that little innocent human still remains.

Even if it’s buried deep, keep picturing the young versions of the people around you. It will open your eyes to the goodness deep down.

4 – Remember every moment of goodness you’ve seen from him/her.

There’s bound to be a time – no matter how irritable he/she generally makes you – when this difficult person has shown a glimpse of his/her good side. Maybe it was a faint smile, a kind word, or a moment of vulnerability. As tiny and simple as this moment may have seemed – never forget it. Hold it close and play it over and over again whenever this person returns to the rougher side of himself/herself.

5 – Notice what topics make him/her light up.

Grandkids, pets, hobbies, siblings – these are all potential topics that can turn someone’s mood from distant to personable. It will defiantly take some digging and hard conversation work, but most people have soft spots that seem to bring out their good sides.

Take note of these soft spots and expand on them each time you talk to these people. It takes time, but if you continue to touch on these positive topics, each encounter with the difficult person will grow less and less dreadful.

6 – Note his/her insecurities.

There is nothing that makes someone as unpleasant as when he/she is drowning in those pesky insecurities. We all have them and they’re all unique to each person. Some people grow completely detached and others take frustrations out on the world.

Whatever the method of defense is, always take a minute to acknowledge it to yourself (both for your own issues and others you must face). Insecurities are unfortunate, yet they can bring us together. Most of us can relate to body image insecurities, financial insecurities, and career insecurities. Let’s change our responses from defensive to connective.

Next time you face someone obviously upset over a personal insecurity, take a minute to relate and say, “Hey, I understand. I feel that way, too.” And watch the defensive monster turn into a normal human being.


Learning to see the good in others can change your outlook on the world. As with most things, it takes time and effort. You must try. And it’s worth it. Not only will you learn the stories of others around you, you will start to see the good in your own self.

Thank you so much for reading this post. Please comment below if you’ve ever had an enlightening experience with a person you thought was terrible – and he/she turned out to be not-so-bad.

Have a great day, and look for the good in others.


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Moonlight Prose

Driving over the lake at night, mid summertime. Warm air, without wind, perfect, just right. Wishing this moment of comfort and fun could last an eternity. If Heaven is real, it must be like this.  There’s work tomorrow morning, a normal day ahead, but none of that matters when the moonlight reflects off the glassy black water.

Houses are silent across the land, all boats are shutdown for the evening. It’s quiet. Absolute stillness.  Parking at a boat ramp and walking to the end of the pier, I gaze out at all the lights across the vast body of calm water. All different kinds of people inhabit the large homes of stone and glass windows. But none of them matter in this moment. All I see are the lights as they create an image of stars across the moonlit horizon. 

I’m standing on a platform in another universe where people, other than myself, do not exist. I’m alone. Completely alone, standing on the edge of an unknown expanse far from civilization.  Cars cross the bridge with great speed off to my left. They’d never notice a lone soul standing in the midnight moonlight. They’re only comets scraping the sky in my universe of silence.

The warmth of the night brings a indescribable comfort to my wretched heart. All the cold has melted away and left me cleansed. The water of the reservoir evaporates under the heat and enters my lungs with every breath. All the negativity of the world, every impure thought, and each scar all heal with the vapor of the black moon water. In this moment, I am free. I am alone and at peace. My soul is pure, safe, and clean. Stars, moonlight, warm water, warm air, barefoot, unseen.

I am the lake and the lake is me. We are one. We are free.

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Seething to Search

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Saving a Life – Haiku

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Miscarriage

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12 Situations Where Silence is Golden

Keeping quiet isn’t always easy, and depending on who you are, it might be seemingly impossible.

Often, staying quiet is a great way to maintain internal peace. No matter how difficult it is to hold your tongue back, here are 12 scenarios when you should ALWAYS avoid saying anything:

1 – Arguments about politics

Politics is a touchy subject for many people. When these people get started debating on a political issue, it’s best to just stay out of it. It’s not something we are ever going to agree on. We don’t have to agree in order to be civil. Whether you disagree with someone or not, it’s wise to avoid the argument.

2 – Arguments about religion

Religion is another subject that the entire world is never going to agree upon. We all have our reasons for practicing the religion of our choice, and thankfully in many countries we also have legal right to do so. So trying to convince everyone that a certain religion is best, is typically a waste of breath.

3 – When others are purposely trying to provoke you

Some people don’t care at all about what they’re preaching, they only want to spark a reaction from others. Just keep quiet around these foolish people. Never give what they desire by taking part in their discussion.

4 – When others are gossiping

Gossip is never a good idea. Even if you and your best friend are alone on a desert island, gossip only causes harm to everyone being discussed and everyone doing the discussing.

5 – When someone is “throwing a fit”

This includes not only young children, but also adults. Grown individuals are sometimes prone to ridiculous, over-the-top, tantrums. Don’t let whatever insults leave these people’s mouths to offend you. Be rational while they’re being irrational.

6 – Arguments about a TV Show, Movie, or other forms of Media

If it’s not a conversation that’s involving  life and death, don’t allow yourself argue about it. We are all free to enjoy or despise any type of television, music, or pop culture item that we want to. Arguing over such things is just ignorant.

7 – Disputes between family members

Don’t get yourself into a position where you are forced to choose sides between two family members. Families fight and make up all the time. Stay neutral and let them work their own issues out.

8 – Disputes between couples

Again, having to choose a side is never a good position to be in. Their issues are their business alone. Don’t get involved.

9 – If you don’t have all the information

Unless all the details are known and out in the open, keep quiet. You don’t want to make a judgement call without having accurate facts.

10 – When others are feeling strong emotions

Sadness, anger, disappointment, and even happiness can lead people to do and say some insane things. Let them get all the adrenaline out of their systems and calm down before having any serious discussions.

11 – If you are feeling strong emotion

We tend to say things we don’t mean when we’re running on high emotion. Calm down before blurting out statements that you might later regret.

12 – If you have nothing positive to say

It’s the rule that your parents and teachers always preached but rarely followed themselves: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. This should be the golden rule.


Keep your dignity, and maintain your inner peace by staying quiet. The high ground is a nice place to be during these 12 uncomfortable situations. Have a great day free of arguments and heated discussions.


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Dead End


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5 Acts of Kindness to Perform Daily

Kindness keeps the world spinning, right? Everyone on this planet is facing unique, difficult scenarios. A small, kind act from a another person whether he/she is a friend or a stranger on the street, can completely turn a rough day into a positive experience.

No matter how small or simple it may seem, we can all take a few moments each day to make someone smile, laugh, or feel significant. These acts of kindness can go a long way for both the persons committing and receiving the kind gesture:

1 – Smile at a stranger.

We pass dozens of faces everyday at work, the grocery store, etc., most of the time with automatic steps and never looking up at the people we pass. It might seem pointless and it could even feel awkward in the moment, but try flashing a huge, cheesy, genuine smile at these random people you pass by. Providing a moment of light in a person’s potentially dreadful day can lift the spirits (for both parties).

2 – Hand out simple compliments.

This world is coated in insecurities and we all have our own set of personal discomforts we feel about ourselves – the way we look, who we are, the jobs we work, etc. Receiving a compliment, no matter what it’s regarding, how simple it may be, or who it’s from, always sparks a warm feeling. Take a moment to compliment those around – a cute shirt, a nice hair color, pretty eyes, clear skin, hard worker, niceness, etc.

Though it’s simple, it will completely make that person’s day.

If you want to be a little weird with it – compliment the way his/her hands look when writing, the way he/she smells after running, or whatever he/she is eating for lunch.

Awkward compliments are flattering and might make the person laugh, also.

Okay, so maybe lay off the awkward compliments. And definitely never be inappropriate. Keep it simple and say something nice to people. That’s all it takes to see a smile and make someone’s day better.

3 – Ask and Listen.

People like and need to know that their lives matter in this world. We all need to know that others around us care about our lives and issues we’re facing. Ask about what’s going on, how the kids are doing, how that surgery went, or what’s going on at work.

Of course when questions are asked, it’s required that the person asking listens. Not just nodding a head and faintly hearing the answers, but truly listening and providing encouraging feedback.

4 – Remember the person’s name.

This is such a simple act that really makes people feel special and valued. Remembering a client, patient, or stranger’s name sparks immediate connection between the two people. Remembering the name is basically saying, “I remember you, and you are important to me.”

5 – Write ‘Thank You’ cards for everything.

Showing gratitude for what others do for us isn’t as common as it used to be. In fact, for most scenarios, we expect others to do certain things for us and we forget that the person didn’t have to do anything for us.

Never forget to personally thank those people who help you day to day or make you feel loved and cherished. A simple “thank you” card will make the other person feel appreciated. No matter how small the act provided was, show gratitude for that service, gift, friendship, or helping hand.

Being kind is great, and should be accompanied with gratitude for the kindness you receive yourself.


Give these five acts of kindness a try everyday for a week and see what happens. It’s almost a guarantee that you will feel good – whether people return the love or not.

The person who came up with the saying, “Kill them with kindness,” was a genius. Spread love around with small acts of simple kindness and see your world brighten up.


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Unwound


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Love the Night Haiku


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